She came just after last winter’s ice storm. And she stayed.
We never knew where she came from and, at first, she was just another of the several feral cats we feed.
Soon, we had to give her a name like we do with all of them and we called her Nimbus because she was looked like a little black cloud. That was not her nature, though. She was an endearing little cat who loved affection but also her independence.
Every morning she’d be waiting at the back to door to greet me or would coming running up to me from somewhere in our back yard. All day long, she’d be on the deck in one of her favourite spots. When we went out, she’d always make herself present for rubs and food.
And she was likely the last thing I’d see when locking up the house for the night. She was a fixture.
She was becoming our cat now.
As the cold weather approached, we worried about how Nimbus would fare in the snow and below-freezing temperatures. We got her a house from the Toronto Street Cats Project and put it out for her in November.
It turned out that she loved her house. Just after Christmas she started to spend more and more time in there. For the last few days, she hardly came out. When she did, she’d sometimes fall over. Enough. We took her to the vet’s last Friday and there didn’t seem to be any clear diagnosis. She got some shots for the more obvious symptoms and we’d keep an eye on her. Brought her home and she went right into her shelter.
Yesterday morning she came out one last time. I picked her up and she was gone in under a minute. At least she wasn’t alone.
We’re a little more alone now.
It seems we keep setting ourselves up for this kind of heartbreak, and, knowing this, keep on getting attached to these creatures.
Why do we do it? To us, they’re just irresistible I guess.
That doesn’t make the heartbreak any less painful.
I hope we did what we could for Nimbus. There’s no end of missing her.
Today’s Listening:
1. I Do It For Your Love – Bills Evans and Toots Thielemans fr: “Affinity”
2. I Will – by Tony Furtado and Alison Krauss fr: “Bluegrass Goes to Town”
I am sorry for your loss. Nimbus was a sweet creature. You and Rhoda do it because who else will. She had a much better life with your various ministrations and caring than if you hadn’t. Part of caring is loss. All living creatures live and then die. It’s the process of how we live our lives and care for others that makes our path in this world bearable. I understand your loss . Many creatures have moved through our life too. Will you take her to Meadowlark? Or shall you create her resting place in your backyard? I have lit a candle for her in remembrance. You still have a home outdoors and I am sure another small creature will find it and his/her way into your hearts. Hugs and love. Moira
Beautifully written. Your words bring me to the back porch watching cats and other critters enter the safe world you and Rhoda provide.